


Iraq Doesn't Need You, I Do

by OkayKaylyn



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 03:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkayKaylyn/pseuds/OkayKaylyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble. Mickey wishes he had known what to say to keep Ian from leaving. Spoilers for 3.12</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iraq Doesn't Need You, I Do

**Author's Note:**

> Iraq Doesn't Need You, I Do - Alicia Marie S. (from the book I Can't Keep My Own Secrets)

"Don't"

The word slips out, broken and without Mickey's permission. He swallows hard as Ian faces him again.

"Don't what?" Ian challenges, knowing Mickey won't say shit. Knowing Mickey's incapable of showing any real emotion. And Mickey hates that he's right. That Mickey won't say a fucking thing worth hearing.

"Just..." Mickey tries again, choking on his words. Ian shakes his head and leaves, leaves Mickey to sit on his bed and try to fight back the tears. He can feel someone standing in his doorway, watching him. He knows it's not Ian. He wishes it was Ian.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mickey spits out at Mandy, barely even turning to look at her.

"Really, that's all you're gonna say to him?" and what the fuck could Mandy mean by that. Mickey turns and looks at her. He can see it in her eyes. She knows he's gay. She knows and she doesn't give a fuck. "You're a fucking pussy" she sneered before pushing herself off his door frame and walking away.

And yeah, he guesses he deserves that. But why was it all up to him to keep Ian here? Why couldn't she fucking do it. Why does the responsibility to keep Ian from getting his ass shot off fall on Mickey's shoulders? He starts to cry as he thinks it all through.

But god, he wishes he could've kept him here. Wishes he knew what to say. 

What would he have said if he had the balls to say it? He doesn't even fucking know.

He could've gone with a guilt trip 'What about your family? You just gonna walk out on them?' He could've put the blame on someone else's shoulders, make Ian think it isn't Mickey's idea that he stays 'Mandy wouldn't want you to leave' He could try to use reason, to scare him 'You know you're gonna get shot out there, and take it from me, it doesn't feel good.' Or he could've gone the completely gay way, and said what Ian has been waiting to hear since day one 'Don't leave. I need you, don't leave me.'

But really, Mickey knew he had no fucking right to keep Ian from leaving. To keep him from getting out of shitty Chicago. Mickey wasn't the best person, but he wasn't a selfish asshole either. 

And Mickey wasn't an idiot. He knew it was partly his fault that Ian was leaving. But Marrying Svetlana was his only fucking choice, couldn't Gallagher get that? Couldn't he understand that it wasn't _Mickey's _choice? That he only did it to protect Ian?__

__But of course that plan fucking backfired because now Ian was going off to get killed in some 'stan somewhere. Mickey buries his head in his hands and tries to contain the sobs that threaten to break through._ _

__If he could go back and stop his dad from walking in on them, he fucking would. He would kill the bastard if given the opportunity._ _

__He should've said it, it would have been selfish as fuck on his part. But he should've said it for everyone else's sake, not his. Because if he'd said it... Well, Ian would've stayed, but he would've resented Mickey the rest of his life. Maybe Mickey could handle that though, what he couldn't handle was thinking about Ian getting hurt out there. Didn't want to even fucking consider it._ _

__"Don't leave. I need you, don't leave me." At least it would've been the truth._ _


End file.
